Hear ye, hear ye!

Let today, August 31st, be forever remembered as the first all-around fantastic eye appointment of 2009.

Good news #1:  I made significant gains on the eye chart. I was just rattling off all these letters and the technician just kept giving me more and smaller lines to read...crazy.  Granted, I didn't read them all in order; it counts nonetheless.  For example, a line of the eye chart might read: C A O V.  My flashes of light and shadows often crawl over my field of vision, so I generally see O V, wait for the flashes and shadows to drift, then the C and A emerge.  Indeed, when I cover up my good eye and try to read, my brain is able to understand words even when I read 'backwards'.  I don't get it either, but I'll take it.

Good news #2: After three doctors shined bright lights into my dilated eyes and an OCT scan (sort of like an ultrasound but for your retina), I was deemed "activity free."  This means that I have no neovascular activity and thus, no fluid (blood) in the back of my eye!  Always a good thing to hear especially when all those lights literally left me seeing hot pink for minutes afterward.

Good news #3: Activity free means no injection!  In fact, this was the first appointment in 2009 that did not end with a needle penetrating my eyeball.  I know you love that visual...This news was doubly good to hear because my insurance is apparently not thrilled about the heavy cost of my last Lucentis injection.  They "nicely" covered my last one but today I was informed that future injections might not be covered.  Crummy, huh?  I kind of liked Avastin better anyways...but I'm not thrilled about the prospect of having insurance bail out on me.  

2.5 hours later, I walked out of the hospital feeling fancy-free.  I celebrated my successful appointment by buying some much-needed clothes for work and a book.  When I got home, I ate a tomato and fresh mozzarella salad with some olive oil and balsamic vinegar.   Now I'm gonna sit back and let all those anti-inflammatory goodies do their magic...

Sugar, Oh Honey Honey

For most of my life, I have never considered myself as having a "sweet tooth."  I like salty foods--potato chips, french fries, pickles, the salt rim of margaritas.  I hardly order dessert and when I do, I usually share.  Whenever I bake, I give away most of the goodies.  Even sugar cravings were never really an issue.  A little nibble of chocolate or one cookie could take care of it pretty easily.

But that was before I made my drastic diet overhaul.

Avoid or eliminate sugar.  That is one of my anti-inflammatory guidelines and up until recently, I thought that would be one of the easiest rules to follow.  I thought French Fries and buffalo wings would be my biggest sacrifices: WRONG.   Ok not true, my heart still hurts for them...let's not dwell on these delicious foods.  Anyways, turns out that sugar is becoming very hard to give up.  It's not that I'm not trying.  Take a look at some food labels: sugar is everywhere.  Even in the saltiest foods--SUGAR.  

As a result, I have been trying to cut out sugar as much as possible.  The result: intense sugar cravings.  In my previous life, I never had sugar cravings, but I suppose my sugar fix was being satisfied little by little in all my salty foods.  Now, I think about sweets all the time.  Occasionally, when I indulge in a sweet, I devour it and want more!  More ice cream!  More candy bar!  

You might say: just do it.  Sometimes I say that too and they next thing you know, I am eating all this junk.  Sugar has been connected with inflammatory responses, and we all know that's something I do not need whatsoever.  Anti-inflammatory gurus tell me to discover the natural sweetness of fruits and rely on strong spices to bring out flavors.  I discovered that a long time ago.  In the process, I discovered that sugar does a pretty good job too.

So, what to do?  First, I thought I could rely on honey and cane-sugar, believing these to be more "natural" sources.  Some recent internet searches reveal that these are just as bad as sugar!  I am also not into this whole artificial sweetener baloney, which I'm convinced will lead to other terrible health conditions in time.  I might look into Agave, which many use in place of honey.  We shall see.  Stevia also seems worth looking into.  But the price tags are enormous.

Following this diet is tough.  When I am disciplined and stick to the diet, I feel like I'm a diabetic vegetarian with a gluten-allergy.  Needless to say, I cut corners a lot.  For example, today I made zucchini muffins using 1 cup of honey, and the other day I made coconut ice cream using 1.5 cups of sweetened coconut flakes.   Not surprisingly, both recipes came out slightly less sweet than their sugar cousins but also still a little sweet.

If you have insights on natural sweeteners, please help!

The Summer So Far

I'm baaaaaaaack!  So, after going into blog-hiding for over a month, I really don't have much to report.  How...pathetic.

The diet is going well, though I do find that summertime treats like ice cream and cold happy hour drinks tempt me too often.  Overall, I've been pretty good.  My CSA box keeps me on my toes in terms of recipes.  I've had everything from zucchini soup to muffins and this week may try zucchini stuffed with feta.  Too much zucchini!  And beets!  A girl can only eat so many beets.  Last week I roasted them, sliced them into matchsticks, and rolled them in some brown rice, tofu and nori for a weird veggie-sushi combination.  It was not bad but not necessarily something I'd repeat.  At least it was super healthy and anti-inflammatory.  Riiiiight.

Thankfully, the most exciting part of my summer has nothing to do with my eye.  I took a much-needed vacation to Mexico and indulged in lots of treats not approved by my diet: strong delicious margaritas, flan, coconut ice cream, flour and corn tortillas, and coca-cola (which, by the way, was the one thing I had resisted for the longest time).  However, I was also very good in Mexico.  The seafood is so abundant and fresh that I usually ordered the shrimp or fish tacos anyway.  On my final two days of the trip, I contracted a mild but still unpleasant stomach virus.  The way I see it, it really doesn't matter if I put all that junk in my body because I'm pretty sure it went right through my system anyway!  

Adios!

Success!

My doctor's appointment today went really well.  Left eye is fine, as usual, and Ol' Rightie gained a few lines on the eye chart!  Woohoo!  Yeehaw!   Doctors are super happy too...so happy they decided to give me another injection.  I think this is like #4 or 5 or something for 2009; perhaps we should start celebrating anniversaries together.  Today, I was given a Lucentis injection, which operates similarly to Avastin; however, according to my doctor, Lucentis offers a more powerful dose of blood-vessel-zapping power.  That said, it's also more short lived.  Doctor hopes to regain as much of my eyesight as quickly as possible.  I see him again in late August.

I don't know much about Lucentis except that a lot of MFC folks receive this treatment.  If you have any insights into Lucentis, please leave me a message.   

Checking In and Checking Out

I don't have much to report except that I am eating a delicious anti-inflammatory meal as I write this.  My CSA has been slowly...slowly...improving, and today I received a bunch of beets.  So I stopped by the fish market for salmon steaks.  Though I take fish oil caplets daily, I like to eat actual fish for protein and extra omega-3s; I am also trying to gain weight sort of (un)sucessfully--packed on three pounds what what!  

Anyways...

When I got home, I peeled and sliced the beets, tossed them in olive oil with salt and pepper, and roasted them for 30 minutes at 375.  My salmon steaks were similarly prepared.  As an added bonus, I de-stemmed the beet greens and chopped them into smaller chunks before quickly sauteing them in garlic and olive oil.  The end result: a colorful, tasty, and healthy meal.  I am always impressed by how far salt, pepper, and olive oil can take a meal.  All three ingredients taste radically different but also complementary.

I have another appointment on Monday, which makes me nervous.  Work has been eventful--too stressful actually--and I hope Ol' Rightie knows better than to let a little stress get to it.  Cross your fingers.   Back to my dinner!

More than Fine in 2009

I think I am on the verge of something BIG: my eyesight is slowly improving.

I am sure of it now.  I just closed my good eye and tried to read a chunk  of the newspaper.  

"G.M. essentially came under government control when it received its first federal loans from the Bush administration in late December..."  

I read that!  I could READ that. With only my bad eye!  No help from the other good eye!  It was amazing.  I want to read everything now.  But I won't because my right eye is now really tired after trying to read a measly paragraph. It's taking too long to read anything longer with just a gimpy eye.  Letters and lines are still swirly and wave-like, and it takes a minute for my brain to reorder them into the right sequence.  

You may think that this is a small accomplishment.  No, this is a BIG deal.   A couple months ago, I would have seen a dark circle in my central vision, resembling a solar eclipse of sorts.  But today, I can see colors and shapes and some letters.  Maybe they are all jumbly and a bit shadowed, but this is so much more than I had.  And though I am ecstatic, I must accept the sobering reality that there is indeed permanent damage to my retina.  I may regain some eyesight, but I will always have impaired vision because of retinal scarring.  

But let's not forget this wonderful moment.  I want to celebrate and throw a big party full of healthy food and things I can try to read.  Ok, not really.  But I am pretty excited.

In honor of today's great news, I would like to take moment to thank all the important folks who have helped my eyesight get to where it is today.

1) Thanks, crazy-healthy-strict-diet.  You make me eat inordinate amounts of tofu, brown rice, salmon, leafy green vegetables, green tea, and nasty vegan protein shakes.  I am actually getting sick of you, diet, and sometimes I really resent you. But you help me see (more of) the world.  So, I appreciate you, and I will continue this strange journey til death do us part.  Nevermind that I am constantly craving potato chips, french fries, soda, coffee, ice cream, candy, cake, chicken wings, burgers...

2) I'd also like to thank my health insurance plan.  You are awesome, health insurance.  You pay for my super expensive fish oil capsules and my ridiculous eye appointments which cost anywhere from $700-$6,000 a visit. My scary Avastin injections aren't so scary now that they only cost $15.  I can't wait to thank you after next year, when I get tenure and even better health insurance coverage.  

3) Thanks, doctors at Wills Eye. You guys have been taking care of me since 2004 and doing all sorts of things to make me feel better.  From steroids to cold and hot lasers and Avastin injections, you just want me to feel better.  And when those don't work, you tell me that I'm the sharpest MFC patient they've had and that my eye patch doesn't hamper my fashion at all (true story).  I like that.  I can't wait to see you again on June 22 and master that stupid eye chart.

4) Friends and family, you get thanks today too!  You all have been great and let me eat really healthy.  You go out of your way to cook vegetarian or fish for me, or research restaurants that have anti-inflammatory things to eat.   You ask me about the diet and don't make me feel bad about eating healthy.  And when I fall off the wagon, it's usually because it was my bad idea to begin with.  Ahem, except for one of you who trekked through NYC to fetch us some cigarettes...that was a bad idea, esp. because I don't remember how many I smoked and because I kind of liked it. This maybe worse than the bajillion drinks I had this weekend.   Did I mention I also ate chicken? And beef.  Crap.

Regardless, I am thrilled.  Finally, good things are happening in 2009.  Yesterday, a college friend asked me "On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you?"  Without hesitation, I said "I am a nine".  Another college friend told me she thought I looked "so healthy" and "radiantly serene".  

Well, if your eyesight was slowly returning, wouldn't you be all this, too?

Hello Out There

One of the main reasons I created this blog was to keep some friends and family more easily in the know.  It's a lot simpler for me to just update the blog than rehash the same conversation and facts with each person.  Also, sometimes it is difficult and/or awkward bringing this stuff up.  

However, I chose to keep the blog public and readily accessible.  The paranoid teacher inside me still worries about this.  But I do a pretty good job of keeping my disability a secret at work; today a student even told me she thought I was too healthy to need health insurance...riiiiight.  Though I do struggle over the blog's privacy settings, I am intrigued to find that there are some new readers to my blog.  Who are you?  How did you find my blog?  Do you have multi focal choroiditis too?  Do you know someone who does?  Why are you following my weird blog that often has no focus? I would really like to hear from you, so please comment.

In other news, I am beginning to think that my diet might actually be working.  On the airplane this past weekend, I nearly shocked myself when I realized that I could see--and see well!  The flashes of light were significantly calmer; I even closed my good eye and discovered that I could see much more through my left eye.  This news kept me happy for the rest of the flight.   Then, I spent the rest of the weekend eating processed flour, chocolate cake, and drinking lots of alcohol.  The joke was that I'd return to Philadelphia blind.  And what do you know?  My flashes of light are indeed a bit more intense than before the trip.  Back to being good...but a trip to New York City awaits me this weekend.  Being good in New York City?  Oxymoron!