Two! Dos! Deux! Due!

2009 may have begun as the terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-year, but it looks like it may end on a positive note.  (Watch, my luck is gonna turn just because I said that.  Oh brother. No more of your tricks, Universe!)

Today marks the second successful eye appointment of the year!  These days, I define successful as walking out without any vascular activity and most importantly, injection-free.  I did not make gains on the eye chart, but at least things did not worsen.  I'm "holding steady" as Dr. B calls it.

Before checking out the situation, Dr. B asked me if I thought things had improved.  I told him honestly that I did not know.  Secretly, I feared that my eyes had worsened.  I've been eating a lot of junk lately and not really taking care of myself.  The heartache of the World Series meant that I treated myself to pizza and ale while staying up way past my bedtime.  A few weeks ago, I fought a nasty cold and graded an insane amount of student work.  Then Halloween happened, and I'm left staring at a cauldron of candy that smells good even through plastic wrappers.  I don't think the guilt really hit until last night, which was spent worrying over everything I had done the past three months.  This resulted in feeling bad about not sleeping and what that would do to my eye blah blah blah.  Basically, I worried about my worry.  Unproductive but it happens.

But ta-da!  Great eye appointment, and I'm not due to see the doc until February.  

So, I'm left with a couple questions:

* Is my diet truly working?

* Maybe my diet works...but not necessarily the whole  of it?  Do I really need to eliminate meat and flour?  Or are my pharmacy-grade fish oil capsules doing a great job?  Funny, I'm also asking these questions as I munch happily on my celebration snack of bread, cheese, and prosciutto.  Oh, I missed you prosciutto!  How great would it be if I could eat bread and meat as much as I wanted?!?

* Maybe the decreased stress levels are at work.

* Or, as Dr. B insists, Avastin and Lucentis are the true miracle workers here.

The Incredible, Edible (Omega-3) Egg!

I hate breakfast.  Hate it.  Waffles and pancakes, no thanks.  French toast, who cares?  Omelettes, fine.  I am probably eating such a late breakfast because I hate it so much.  But here's the problem: I totally need breakfast.  If I don't get fed in a timely manner, I morph into crazy cranky person or catatonic lady.  No good.

However, as I type this, I am scarfing down my new favorite breakfast (yeah yeah, breakfast at 2pm.  Don't give me that look.  Like I said, I hate breakfast.)  Anyways, welcome to sauteed kale and fried eggs!  Mmmm.  I keep telling myself that I should upload more photos of my meals, but I ate this one too quickly.  Sorry.

I love this meal because 1) it's healthy and anti-inflammatory and 2) quick.

Ingredients:

olive oil

1-2 minced garlic cloves

2 eggs (preferably omega-3 rich and organic)

a large handful of kale

red pepper flakes

salt and black pepper

Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a pan.  Then add the minced garlic and saute for about a minute.  Add kale (just washed is best because the moisture from the rinsing will help with steaming) and saute until the kale becomes slightly wilted and maintains a deep green color.  I like my kale hearty so I don't saute for more than 5 minutes.  Add a dash of red pepper flakes for a kick.  Transfer kale and garlic to a plate.  Then crack two eggs into your hot pan and fry as desired.  Place cooked eggs atop your lovely bed of kale, sprinkle with S&P, and add a dash of soy sauce.  YUM.

Maybe my hatred of breakfast will transform into a like, or at least apathy?  When I'm in a real bind for time, or just a zombie after work, I'll add brown rice to this dish for an easy dinner.  Sometimes I substitute the garlic with slivers of onion or ginger as well.  

Behold...the Truffle!

I am stuck in the house.  Too poor to do anything fun and very bored.  So, what to do?  Make truffles, of course!  

I found a fantastic vegan truffle recipe which uses cashew cream in place of traditional heavy cream.  My roommate has a Vita Mixer so the cashews were no match, and in seconds I had cashew cream!  I doctored the recipe a bit by adding a tablespoon of coffee.  When the mixture was chilled, I used a melon baller to get equally sized chunks, rolled them by hand, and coated them in toasted coconut, cocoa powder, and regular coconut flakes.  The coconut flakes are admittedly sweetened, but I often don't eat my own desserts anyway.  You could easily make this entirely-sugar free by using unsweetened flakes.

I did save two truffles for myself and plan to indulge later tonight.  A little sweetened coconut won't hurt, I suppose.

Aren't they cute?!

Ominous News

I usually check out the New York Times' "Health" section for healthful (and often anti-inflammatory) recipes.   What I found today was disturbing.  Before I could even check out a recipe, I was distracted by another link.  Check out this alarming article on curtailing Avastin's use.

I know this article mainly pertains to Medicare, but I can't help worrying.  What may this mean for me and my insurance coverage at some point in the future?  

Avastin has been the only treatment that has worked for me.  Granted, my doctors and I have not found anything close to a cure for whatever this Multi Focal Choroiditis may be...however, the Avastin has often staved off blindness in a pinch for me.  To complicate matters, at my last appointment, I was told that my insurance was not pleased with my latest Lucentis injection and threatened to pull my coverage on that one.   The NYTimes article hinted that doctors would then be encouraged to switch to Lucentis, which I definitely can not afford at face value.  If I now am in danger of losing Avastin, this could be very bad, no good news...

Questions, comments, thoughts, clarifications?

Health benefits and emotional rollercoaster effects aside, the most fascinating part of my diet journey has been...other's reactions.  Who would have thought? 

For such an image conscious society, Americans really can't handle the concept of healthy dieting. Apparently, eating healthy is something that really skinny people (yours truly) can't engage in healthfully.  This makes no sense of course; healthy eating should be everyone's domain no matter your natural size.  With school resuming, I am once again under extreme scrutiny when it comes to what I do and do not eat.   As many of you know, I've been dealing with outlandish accusations of eating disorders for all my life.  I'm not going to launch into a defensive diatribe; just suffice it to say that I really don't have a disorder and know my body pretty well.   Call it my personal homeostasis.  

When I'm home, all is well.  I buy my groceries for the week, prepare my meals, and eat them in relative privacy.  My roommate has a host of health problems too, so neither of us accidentally tempt each other with junk food.   Then I go to work and am surrounded by a staff and students who have real issues with the way I'm eating.   Why is she eating so healthy?  Is she on a diet to lose weight?   This is all the more difficult when very nice people want to share their desserts or candy (Halloween...ugh).  When I say no over and over again, I get puzzled looks and probably some suspicions that I'm on a deprivation diet.  Sometimes folks even get borderline angry when I absolutely refuse to eat their junk.  One coworker of mine actually screamed at me "What's wrong with you?  Live a little for crying out loud."  He then literally tried to force me to eat potato chips.  

So, what to do?  I don't like to talk about my health problems at work (being "blind girl" is really just something I'd rather avoid) and especially among folks who probably think my real health problem is anorexia or bulimia.  I just eat my meal and go; I don't make snarky comments about their nasty-processed-barely-200-calories-Lean-Cuisine (at least not to their faces...only in the cowardly safety of my blog).  These days, I often hide in my classroom; it's really not worth the aggravation and if I keel over dead from food deprivation one day, then "I told you so" will be in order.   I also think it's really sad that our society has such a skewed perception of "living healthy"--as if living healthy is only for folks who are currently struggling with weight issues.  This makes no sense to me.  Even thin people need to live healthily--it's a dangerous myth to believe that skinny people can unload junk into their systems.  Case in point: myself.  These last few months have taught me that my diet really can have positive/pernicious effects on my health.  

On that note, here are some healthy and sugar-free preoccupations for you:

1) Sugar, my sweet enemy, has been on my brain.  I discovered a fascinating and informative blog about one person's quest to cut out refined sugar.  The blog has helped me stay current on the sugar industry's insidious public relations efforts.  I've also picked up some great habits, like using agave as my primary sweetener. Check it out: www.myyearwithout.blogspot.com

2) Remember my obsession over ice cream?  Well, I've found a great compromise: Larry and Luna's line of vegan, soy-free, and sugar-free ice cream!  It's delicious and creamy and oh-so-good.  I love the chocolate coconut and am on the hunt for the cherry flavor.  At 5-6 bucks a pop, they are pricey but at least I feel guilt-free about digging in.  Warning: there are other brands that offer very similar products, but I know from experience that L&L is the real McCoy.

3) I love Banana Whip.  Have you had it?  It's a staple at the Jersey Shore; someone had the brilliant idea to take ripe frozen bananas and push them through a Champion Juicer.  The result is a frozen, whipped, gooey banana goodness that rivals the richness of ice cream.   Nothing is added!  Incredible.  Apparently, bananas contain a compound that allows it to become glutinous upon whipping.  I was able to replicate Banana Whip without a $200 Champion Juicer (though I did perform a quick eBay search...).  Get some ultra-ripe bananas, freeze in chunks, and then whip in a food processor with one-two tablespoons of plain yogurt.  Whip to a fluffy consistency.  This morning,  I added some Kashi cereal to the mix for crunch but you can throw in other frozen fruit or top with some dark chocolate and whipped cream for dessert.

Hear ye, hear ye!

Let today, August 31st, be forever remembered as the first all-around fantastic eye appointment of 2009.

Good news #1:  I made significant gains on the eye chart. I was just rattling off all these letters and the technician just kept giving me more and smaller lines to read...crazy.  Granted, I didn't read them all in order; it counts nonetheless.  For example, a line of the eye chart might read: C A O V.  My flashes of light and shadows often crawl over my field of vision, so I generally see O V, wait for the flashes and shadows to drift, then the C and A emerge.  Indeed, when I cover up my good eye and try to read, my brain is able to understand words even when I read 'backwards'.  I don't get it either, but I'll take it.

Good news #2: After three doctors shined bright lights into my dilated eyes and an OCT scan (sort of like an ultrasound but for your retina), I was deemed "activity free."  This means that I have no neovascular activity and thus, no fluid (blood) in the back of my eye!  Always a good thing to hear especially when all those lights literally left me seeing hot pink for minutes afterward.

Good news #3: Activity free means no injection!  In fact, this was the first appointment in 2009 that did not end with a needle penetrating my eyeball.  I know you love that visual...This news was doubly good to hear because my insurance is apparently not thrilled about the heavy cost of my last Lucentis injection.  They "nicely" covered my last one but today I was informed that future injections might not be covered.  Crummy, huh?  I kind of liked Avastin better anyways...but I'm not thrilled about the prospect of having insurance bail out on me.  

2.5 hours later, I walked out of the hospital feeling fancy-free.  I celebrated my successful appointment by buying some much-needed clothes for work and a book.  When I got home, I ate a tomato and fresh mozzarella salad with some olive oil and balsamic vinegar.   Now I'm gonna sit back and let all those anti-inflammatory goodies do their magic...

Sugar, Oh Honey Honey

For most of my life, I have never considered myself as having a "sweet tooth."  I like salty foods--potato chips, french fries, pickles, the salt rim of margaritas.  I hardly order dessert and when I do, I usually share.  Whenever I bake, I give away most of the goodies.  Even sugar cravings were never really an issue.  A little nibble of chocolate or one cookie could take care of it pretty easily.

But that was before I made my drastic diet overhaul.

Avoid or eliminate sugar.  That is one of my anti-inflammatory guidelines and up until recently, I thought that would be one of the easiest rules to follow.  I thought French Fries and buffalo wings would be my biggest sacrifices: WRONG.   Ok not true, my heart still hurts for them...let's not dwell on these delicious foods.  Anyways, turns out that sugar is becoming very hard to give up.  It's not that I'm not trying.  Take a look at some food labels: sugar is everywhere.  Even in the saltiest foods--SUGAR.  

As a result, I have been trying to cut out sugar as much as possible.  The result: intense sugar cravings.  In my previous life, I never had sugar cravings, but I suppose my sugar fix was being satisfied little by little in all my salty foods.  Now, I think about sweets all the time.  Occasionally, when I indulge in a sweet, I devour it and want more!  More ice cream!  More candy bar!  

You might say: just do it.  Sometimes I say that too and they next thing you know, I am eating all this junk.  Sugar has been connected with inflammatory responses, and we all know that's something I do not need whatsoever.  Anti-inflammatory gurus tell me to discover the natural sweetness of fruits and rely on strong spices to bring out flavors.  I discovered that a long time ago.  In the process, I discovered that sugar does a pretty good job too.

So, what to do?  First, I thought I could rely on honey and cane-sugar, believing these to be more "natural" sources.  Some recent internet searches reveal that these are just as bad as sugar!  I am also not into this whole artificial sweetener baloney, which I'm convinced will lead to other terrible health conditions in time.  I might look into Agave, which many use in place of honey.  We shall see.  Stevia also seems worth looking into.  But the price tags are enormous.

Following this diet is tough.  When I am disciplined and stick to the diet, I feel like I'm a diabetic vegetarian with a gluten-allergy.  Needless to say, I cut corners a lot.  For example, today I made zucchini muffins using 1 cup of honey, and the other day I made coconut ice cream using 1.5 cups of sweetened coconut flakes.   Not surprisingly, both recipes came out slightly less sweet than their sugar cousins but also still a little sweet.

If you have insights on natural sweeteners, please help!